After just one year of marriage, it looks like I'm headed for my second (and definately final) divorce. I've realized that I just can't do the hard work required to have a happy successful marriage.
Anyway, does anyone have any suggestions about what to do to protect myself financially if at all possible during this second divorce? We have been married for only one year. We bought a house together, but I put in all the down payment and have made all the mortgage payments. We haven't opened any joint accounts or combined our bank accounts. I have two children from a previous marriage and she has two from a previous marriage.
I'm sorry about the downer post, but I'm just looking for any practical advice to prepare for the coming storm.
Second and Final Divorce
February 18th, 2008 at 04:07 am
February 18th, 2008 at 04:20 am 1203308458
February 18th, 2008 at 05:24 am 1203312282
The best way to protect yourself is to separate your finances and keep it separate.... Even if a relationship is working out well.... Fortunately, it looks like it's already separate.
The house. It depends on state laws (assuming that you are in the US), but typically, if both names are on it, then both sides have equal legal claim. If that's the case, then sorry, but that's just the way it is... even if you are the one who made all the payments. Then again, it wouldn't hurt to make the case for it....
The best advice I can give is to simply have a good divorce lawyer. Mine costed me nearly an arm and a leg when I divorced, but in the end, they were a bargain considering how much skill and clout they had at the bargaining table. I mean, I didn't ask for anything unreasonable. Equal split. But she had a lawyer too, and she asked for EVERYTHING, including child support and alimony (even though she was the one who cheated on me) and if she had won, things would have been a lot more expensive then.
Well, please take care.
February 18th, 2008 at 10:29 am 1203330593
February 18th, 2008 at 12:55 pm 1203339354
February 18th, 2008 at 01:47 pm 1203342433
That really sucks! So sorry for you, but if it is better in the long-run, go ahead with the divorce and suffer now. You're long-term will be more peaceful. I second BA and get a good lawyer. Good thoughts to you!
February 18th, 2008 at 09:27 pm 1203370067
Regarding finances, maintain maturity, decrease pride, increase humility and remember that you both deserve what the law allows.
February 18th, 2008 at 11:11 pm 1203376283
If you don't want to try to save the marriage, try mediation. I forfeited child support, with my ex, in exchange for the house. I had a decent job, and cold support my kids if I was very careful. I didn't want to uproot my kids because of their parent's failed marriage.
It worked out well. Mediation can help define what each person wants and what is reasonable.
Good luck. It is very hard, and very hard on the kids, too.