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Second and Final Divorce

February 17th, 2008 at 08:07 pm

After just one year of marriage, it looks like I'm headed for my second (and definately final) divorce. I've realized that I just can't do the hard work required to have a happy successful marriage.

Anyway, does anyone have any suggestions about what to do to protect myself financially if at all possible during this second divorce? We have been married for only one year. We bought a house together, but I put in all the down payment and have made all the mortgage payments. We haven't opened any joint accounts or combined our bank accounts. I have two children from a previous marriage and she has two from a previous marriage.

I'm sorry about the downer post, but I'm just looking for any practical advice to prepare for the coming storm.

7 Responses to “Second and Final Divorce”

  1. denisentexas Says:

    I wish I could give you some advice but my opinion is that protecting one's self comes before the marriage rather than after. You have my condolences on the divorce issue, though. I've been there and done that once and almost a second time. I feel for you.

  2. Broken Arrow Says:

    Hey man, (assuming you are a guy) I'm sorry that things aren't working out. While I do think that all relationships require hard work, it still has to be mutual and two-way....

    The best way to protect yourself is to separate your finances and keep it separate.... Even if a relationship is working out well.... Fortunately, it looks like it's already separate.

    The house. It depends on state laws (assuming that you are in the US), but typically, if both names are on it, then both sides have equal legal claim. If that's the case, then sorry, but that's just the way it is... even if you are the one who made all the payments. Then again, it wouldn't hurt to make the case for it....

    The best advice I can give is to simply have a good divorce lawyer. Mine costed me nearly an arm and a leg when I divorced, but in the end, they were a bargain considering how much skill and clout they had at the bargaining table. I mean, I didn't ask for anything unreasonable. Equal split. But she had a lawyer too, and she asked for EVERYTHING, including child support and alimony (even though she was the one who cheated on me) and if she had won, things would have been a lot more expensive then.

    Well, please take care.

  3. Lost in debt Says:

    I guess my first question would be what your partner wants? If you put the downpayment on the property and made all the payments to date, is it fair to ask for their share after only one year? If you both agree that the house is yours, then there is no problem. I have only been married six months; it is obviously an adjustment, especially after being single for 9 years, I'm sorry about your loss.

  4. Ima saver Says:

    Just wanted to say I am sorry!

  5. mom-sense Says:

    That really sucks! So sorry for you, but if it is better in the long-run, go ahead with the divorce and suffer now. You're long-term will be more peaceful. I second BA and get a good lawyer. Good thoughts to you!

  6. Mooshocker Says:

    I am sorry to hear about your current problem. I pray that both of you find happiness and that through it all, you both find peace in your future.

    Regarding finances, maintain maturity, decrease pride, increase humility and remember that you both deserve what the law allows.

  7. nance Says:

    Can you try marriage counseling before divorce. It is cheaper, in the long run. Trying to "blend" families is one of the most difficult things in the world. The "Brady Bunch" is a bunch of crap! Been there done that, and survived!
    If you don't want to try to save the marriage, try mediation. I forfeited child support, with my ex, in exchange for the house. I had a decent job, and cold support my kids if I was very careful. I didn't want to uproot my kids because of their parent's failed marriage.
    It worked out well. Mediation can help define what each person wants and what is reasonable.
    Good luck. It is very hard, and very hard on the kids, too.

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